This one crossroad.

Recently my friends and I had to choose between A levels and F.sc. The choice and the move turned out to be harder than I expected. It was directly in contradiction with the spirit of my infatuations with the possibilities of the future. (I'll grow up, step into the real world, get some real education, save the planet.Bingo) This was a response to a conversation I had with a friend who had gone for F.sc while I stayed in our old school for A levels.


Is there a word for the moment you reach the top of the mountain, how even though you have surmounted the peak, achieved what you wanted, but instead of peace as you expected, you find confusion?

Is there a word for the moment you have an argument with a friend and you walk off all triumphant, how even though  have won the argument you almost wish you hadn't, because you ended up with strained communication and bitter laughter? Is there a word for it? Is there?

I wish there was. I would have used it now. Now that we've reached the point, (at least I), longed for. To be grown up enough to actually consider career paths. And now that we are finally here, I ended up with the hallways and the memories that haunt them.

And you, you ended up with the crowd and the dare-devilry that accompanies togetherness in a system that does more harm than good.

You know that night, that night when I called and you cried, I wrote this then rewrote some and scratched that and rewrote again. All because I did not want it to sound too despairing lest it left you worse than before.

Of course this is what we inherently wish as writers, don't we? To have our writings affect peoples' emotions in real time, but as a friend?
It's an entirely different story.